Am I Blissfully Domestic? Well that's a really good question… do I have an answer?

I guess I haven't really thought about it lately, our life  is super crazy and very busy. With 2 kids (one who is homeschooled), a husband deployed to Afghanistan, and working from home.. sometimes it's all I can do to get through the day to day stuff.

I am fortunate enough to work from home plus being able to homeschool our oldest daughter so she can have the type of education that works for her. I'm happy that my career allows me to participate in school events with my younger daughter when the need arises. It also allows me to be there for them and give them some consistency  when they need some extra love and attention or when they just miss their dad.

I am very blessed that my hero aka my husband can take care of us despite him being in a war zone. He makes sure that we are happy and healthy no matter what is going on "over there." He is doing what he needs to do there so everyone of us can be "blissfully domestic" over here!

So what has changed for us ?

Our life as parents is the thing that has changed the most since Daddy has been gone.  We went from being a dual parent household to a single married mom household. Of course, we try to involve my husband in everything that we do. It's hard for him more than me I think… I have the girls here with me to keep me occupied.

Being a parent is hard regardless, but it's even more difficult in our situation (and for many families like ours). We still need to be parents and make the hard decisions for our girls. It certainly takes more effort than it did before.

So how do we do it??

Well -  we use webcams, Skype, my blog,  Facebook and lots of e-mail to stay in contact and keep Daddy involved as much as possible.

When our oldest daughter was having lots of difficulties in school, we had to actually arrange a time for him to call so we could make sure we had time to discuss the options. Ultimately, it came down to me making the hard choice but he was there (as always) to provide support, suggestions, feedback and options.

Even on our family outings we always try to include Daddy. We take lots of pictures and video and send it to Daddy so that he can see what's going on. Once I even streamed live video of my oldest daughter's play, so Daddy could "be there."

I love my life and wouldn't change it for anything! (well with the exception of having my husband at home and not a half a world away) Thanks to technology and new/social media – we are blissfully domestic!

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I am Blissfully Domestic, though I sure don't always feel blissful in my domesticity. There are days when I feel I'm barely getting by, in fact. Keeping up with 4-year-old triplets will do that to a person, I suppose.

I rush, rush, rush. I nag, nag, nag. I clean up the same messes over and over and over again. I yell at my husband. I lose my temper with my children. I snap at my in-laws (who happen to be living with us temporarily). I sweep the crumbs under the fridge and vow to worry about them later (shh!). I throw my arms up in defeat. I question whether I'm cut out to be this woman I've become.

And yet.

At the end of the day when I tiptoe quietly into the kids' room and see them sleeping there, thumbs securely stuck in their precious mouths, I do feel bliss. Much like the sweet, soft blankets they snuggle,  I feel a tender contentment that comfortably covers the frustrations of the day. I know that I've made mistakes. I know I have been far from perfect. But I know I have loved.

And love, my friends, is blissful indeed.

Share your bliss! Link up with your own post below!

(photo used with permission from Kyle Hitchcock Photography)

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Picnik is my go-to site for all my photo editing and post processing needs. But they also have some super fun seasonal effects available right now that can turn your wedding bash into a monster mash!

Do wonder what your groom would have looked like as a vampire?

(Halloween effects used: Draculan Dermis to lighten his skin, Fangs, & VampiraScope to get that moonlit look)

Poor guy…he never saw it coming!

(Halloween effects used: Zombify 2.o on skin & hair, Vampire Eyes, & OgreVision to distort nose/cheek area)

You've heard of ghostwriters but what about ghostbridesmaids?

(Halloween effect used: Ghostify with focal point on the eyes)

The possibilities are as endless as the fun you can have tweaking your photos to get the just the right look.

Now, go find your wedding photos (you more recent brides probably have digital files but you old married folk, like me, will have to warm up the scanner!), go to Picnik and see what you can do!

Most of the Halloween effects are free, but some of the effects are only for "Premium" Members. A premium membership to Picnik is $24.95/year and well worth the price. I use Picnik almost daily to do everything from resize pictures, to add text and borders, to post process with effects that make my photos look much better than they really are!

Try out some Halloween Edits on a photo from your wedding or a wedding you've been in and once you've got a masterpiece, you can submit it to me for a chance to have it featured here on Halloween Day!  Judges from BD's Editorial Staff will help me choose 3 winners out of all photos submitted.

The winning photos will be featured here on the Relationships Column of Blissfully Domestic throughout the day on October 31st.

• Email your finished photo to: malia@blissfullydomestic.com
• Please include in your email a preferred name to include for attribution if you get featured, and if you like, a link to your webpage.
• Photos will be accepted Monday 10/26 through Friday 10/30

For another chance to be featured, Halloweenify a photo of yourself and/or your kids with Picnik and submit them to Lotus on the Photography Column, too! Click here for that.

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Okay, check it.

I used to wince every single time I thought about how I write and edit for a website called Blissfully Domestic.

The phrase brings to mind a lovely lady with a perfect ponytail (not a hair out of place!) and an apron (with frills!) holding a broom in the most delightful way (not using it to retrieve something from under the stove!). And you know the look on her face is this smile that says, "I! Love! My! Life!"

"Blissfully Domestic"

Those two are just not any of the words that would come to mind if I had to describe myself in two words.

Or 6 words. Or 10 words. Or 400.

I'm Manic, Anxious, Dramatic, Moody, Impulsive and Goofy.

Blissful? No.

I'm Lazy, Disorganized, Clumsy, Absent-Minded, and Messy.

Domestic? No!

Except… yes.

I am Blissful.  How do I know?

Because I analyze myself and I pull pieces of my emotion into the light constantly. There is a lot of me "in the dark," but I force as much of that into the sunshine as I can – I write, I photograph, I sing, laugh, hike and garden.

I look for beauty outside of myself to awaken that within.

The truth is, I search for my bliss every single day! And it's there. Some days I'm pretty successful in finding that part of me that DOES exist even if it feels unlikely to me.  I can identify that bliss within, even if I would never describe myself in that way, because it doesn't feel like a constant, flowing part of my personality.

The soundtrack of my life may not always be upbeat, but there are enough lines on this record that contain blissful harmonies to weave together a happy song or two, and the melody goes on and on.

The same goes for my being domestic.

I don't wear aprons, sew buttons back on in a timely manner (try years) or even *think* about what the most complimentary fall decorating pieces for my home would be.

I just stain my t-shirts (while I cook! I love to cook!), put on the other pair of jeans (so I can go outside and dig in the dirt, planting beautiful flowers), and buy pumpkins to cut open with my son (because it's fall and a Jack-O-Lantern is just the perfect accent for this season).

Why, look at that. Turns out I'm "Blissfully Domestic" after all.

And I'll bet you are, too. Even if it's secretly.

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I cannot begin to tell you how often I was completing my day by declaring, "Wow! I can't believe how fast the day went!  Don't ask me what I did all day though…" Laundry was still undone.  Dishes were still piled in the sink.  Floors needed scrubbed.  Various projects were half done and scattered around the house.  The kids were snacking on store-bought muffins (gasp!).  You get the picture.

I began to feel like a stranger in my own skin–a woman simply staring into the window of her own home watching herself run frantically to and fro trying to manage a house and children.  This was not at all the life I imagined when I was a newlywed, awaking at 5:00 a.m. to bake fresh bread for my husband to take to work or when I was pregnant with our first child and had hand-knit an entire drawer of bonnets, booties, cardigans and blankets.  What happened?

I'll tell you what happened.  Life happened.  A few years ago I decided to dust off my dreams of becoming a published writer and a few short months after that I gave birth to our second child.   Suddenly I had more on my plate than ever before.  The perfectionist in me wanted to do everything just right but in reality I had become spread so thin over so many different aspects of life that I wasn't doing anything.  Period.

I sat down and prayed. I prayed for peace and order in my soul and home.  I knew that this didn't rest on my shoulders alone.  I re-read Proverbs 30:10-31 and remembered how all the things this woman accomplished were not done in one day.  They were accomplished over time.  She prioritized her life. Then I reminded myself of Proverbs 14:1, "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her own hands."

I found the courage and strength to begin transforming our house into our home.

First, I made a list of all the things that had to get done and all the things that I simply wanted to do.  It didn't take long for that list to become unrealistically long so I had to prioritize.  Sure, I loved scrapbooking, afternoon naps and reading blogs for hours but I *loved* writing, baking and spending time with my family.  It was pretty obvious which things had to go.

Next, I made a plan and executed it.  My house felt like it was in a constant uproar, nothing was ever in it's place, so I gave myself a time limit–one hour per morning–to read through blogs and check emails.  After that each day had a designated chore that I took care of.  Monday-laundry, Tuesday-closets, Wednesday-bathrooms and floors, etc. It took about two weeks to get my home–and family–back in order.

Now, I have time to spend quality time with my family, keep my house clean, meals cooked, snacks baked and writing deadlines met–and all it took was a little re-prioritizing.

What things are a priority for you? What things aren't?   You are in control of your life and have the power to transform it into whatever you want it to be.  No matter what your vision is for your home or family, it is yours.  Make a list and re-prioritize your life today.

Here at Blissfully Domestic we applaud women who are doing things their way.  Whether they're bakers or no-bakers, whether they grow their own herbs or buy them in a jar…we are all working towards the same goal…there is no right or wrong way.

We are all Blissfully Domestic!

Join Us!

• Grab one of the I am Blissfully Domestic buttons for your post (here)
• Make sure your post is from the past 7 days
• Your topic can be about any topic in the Blissfully Domestic site
• Please use the link to your specific post not to your main blog page
• Put a quick description of your post topic in parentheses next to your name
• Once you’ve linked in, go and read 5-10 posts from other Blissfully Domestic linky participants
• Leave lots of comment love!
• AND OF COURSE: Please remember to link back to this post, so that others can join in.

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Up until recently, I was a domestic mess. I don't like to cook, I don't like to clean, and I'm not stellar at either. I DO love taking care of my kids, and making sure my brows are waxed, but ya know, the rest I have a hard time getting passionate about. Finally, a few weeks ago when my son started kindergarten, I decided it was time to take the plunge and PUT MYSELF ON A SCHEDULE. I was scared, I'll admit it. Scared of failing at it and scared I'd hate it. So I started out making a pretty reasonable, somewhat flexible schedule, and you know what? I LOVE it! And it WORKS! My house is now picked up every day, we have clean dishes, and even – gasp!- clean clothes to wear! I'm so happy I took this step. Here's my schedule – it works for me, and I encourage you to try your own!

Mornings M-F

7:30-8:15 breakfast, check email, blog
8:15-8:45 exercise
8:45-9:30 shower, get dressed, get daughter dressed

9:30-10:00 bloggy business
10:00-10:30 dishes
10:30-12:00 errands, play time
12:00-12:30 lunch

12:30 – 1:00 chores
1:00 – 2:00 OPEN
2:00 leave to pick up son from school

CHORES BY DAY
Every Day – sweep & vacuum living and dining room
Tues – laundry, sweep kitchen floor
Thurs – dust, clean bathrooms

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"Blissfully" – full of, marked by, or causing bliss (extreme happiness or joy)

What makes a woman 'Blissful' or 'Domestic?' Is it her ability to bake the most delicious muffins and scrumptious desserts and never burn dinner? Is it her perfectly cleaned house and manicured nails? Is it her well behaved children and adoring husband?

If I don't have ANY of those things, can I still be Blissfully Domestic?

For the past 9 months I have had the privilege of working with an amazing group of women. Women I have laughed with and cried with and shared with. And let me tell you we are ALL Blissfully Domestic!

We are married, single, divorced, widowed, attached.

We are mothers, grandmothers, not mothers, want to be mothers, don't want to be mothers.

We are neat freaks, barely keepin' it together freaks, Jesus freaks, or not.

We are those who shower, dress, and wear make-up everyday; and those who stay in our pajamas lucky to get a shower twice a week; and various levels in between the two.

We are women who sweep under our beds and women who name their dust bunnies.

We are women who have dirty dishes in the sink right now and would beg you not to look at our ceiling fans. Or not.

We are women who joyfully have tea parties with our daughters and play trains with our sons and women who are thankful for the 5 minutes of quiet after the kids go to sleep so we can finally take a shower.

We are women who take fabulous pictures and make amazing crafts and women who wish we could and women who think they're lovely but have no desire to do so ourselves.

We are women who welcome others into our homes at a moment's notice and women who live in fear of that ever happening.

We are women who run marathons, play sports, and go fishing and camping. And we are women who think a good marathon belongs on TV and camping means a 5 star hotel.

We are all of these things and much more but above all, we are women who love our families!

We are women who desire homes that allow every member of our family to feel welcome and safe and free to grow and be and dream and love and learn and share.

Domestic – devoted to home duties and pleasures; of or relating to the household or the family

We are women who plan and dream and aspire to be our own definition of better, stronger, wiser.

WE are Blissfully Domestic!

Blissfully Domestic is about to celebrate an anniversary of sorts and all through September we'll be asking you to celebrate with us. After Labor Day Weekend you'll notice a brand new look and layout making it easier to find the content from real women living real life you have come to expect from us. Articles, projects, and inspirations that encourage you in your daily life no matter where you are in your journey.

We don't always get it right. Sometimes we don't even come close. Our muffins aren't always moist and sometimes our children misbehave. But we promise to always share our journey with you and to offer you real advice and encouragement from women who've been where you are now.

It is our ultimate goal that you find something here at Blissfully Domestic that speaks to you as a woman and helps you on your journey though life. Sometimes its messy, sometimes its clean, sometimes it offers amazing treasures, and sometimes it scares me to death; but, we are all going in the same direction. Let's go there together.

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Last year, I noticed myself putting on a few pounds despite being fairly attentive to what I eat and being diligent with my exercise habits. I went to the doctor and I said, "Doc, something is VERY wrong with me." She promised to do blood tests but said to me, "You know… you're getting older – and what used to be enough for your body may not necessarily be enough anymore. Your current diet may need to be watched even further, and you may have to modify your exercise routine."

At that time, it turned out that my thyroid was indeed cranky, and once my hypothyroid was diagnosed I was given a prescription to take every day. However, her words stuck with me because a year later, I notice that I'm not getting the same results from what I've been doing.

I've resorted to desperate measures.

I'm going to start running.

My old motto was to avoid running unless I was being chased. Sure, I've run off and on over the years – I go through cycles. I hate it, but get results with it. My endurance is horrid though and I decided I needed to do something a little more rational to make this a habit that sticks.

Couch to 5K. My friends recommend it. There's a nifty little app for my iPhone. I'm doing it. Tonight was my first workout and it wasn't totally horrible. Here's hoping this is a healthy habit I can adopt.

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"I can't cook."

"I bake, I don't really cook."

That's what I say all the time. Baking brings me joy – crafting cookies, pies, and desserts? It makes me happy. I'm good at it. It makes me smile when someone compliments the texture of the brownies I've made, or shipping off a dozen cookies to a friend in another state. I rarely get nervous preparing a dessert, because I rarely make a bad one.

And then I offered to host my sister's bridal shower and realized – uh oh. I have to cook for these people. Yikes. What was I thinking? Sure, some family members volunteered to bring some food – but… really? Not enough of them.

So I did what any self-respecting social media junkie would do: I put out a plea for help on Twitter. Fortunately, an awesome foodie replied giving me a recipe for some awesome caprese salad bites (grape tomatoes sliced in half marinated in balsamic vinaigrette, fresh basil, and buffalo mozzarella stacked on a cutesy toothpick). THEY WERE A HIT. There wasn't much left over, but people asked if they could take this stuff home! And don't even get me started on my bruschetta – which was pretty good as well.

I guess I can no longer hide behind my "I can't cook" excuse anymore.

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In my pre-BlogHer prep, I got my eyebrows waxed. I performed several impromptu fashion shows up and down the hall ways of my house. I practiced walking down the stairs without falling over in my new shoes. I packed enough so that if someone asked me to relocate to Chicago while I was there, I'd be all set. But  yet… I forgot something.

When I was leaning closer to the mirror Thursday night, checking out my hair prior to a party, I spotted the longest gray hair EVER. I, of course, grabbed that little monster and yanked it out by its root. Then I said to myself, "I canNOT believe I forgot to color my hair!"

So, I'm a little vain. The odd thing is that I'm not at all freaked out about aging. Sure, I don't love the wrinkles (so far though, I can identify my wrinkles as smile-related wrinkles, so when I do get upset about them, I think about how I've earned them – by showing happiness and laughter) and the gray hair isn't making me happy – but my birthday? I love it! In fact, if you follow me on Twitter, you know I'm already sending out birthday reminders monthly. Age? Nothin' but a number.

But those gray hairs.

I'll be darned if I'm going to deal with them or let them hang around. Every month, I buddy up with a box of Clairol and spend less than thirty minutes wiping out the most obnoxious sign of aging. And I plan to do it for as long as I feel I need to.

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